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Alan 2:18 Wed Mar 11
Covid 19 - the world reacts
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For anyone that hasn't received this vital info:-
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threats and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Nurse Ratched
2:20 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Arf!
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Haz
2:39 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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That's bloody funny Alan!
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ted fenton
2:48 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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:-)
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Son of Sam
2:49 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Thanks Alan thats very funny
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lab
2:49 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Cracking .
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Far Cough
3:26 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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ag ag ag
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Darby_
3:33 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Excellent.
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geoffpikey
3:43 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Very good!
Time for a cuppa.
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Swiss.
3:46 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Pathetic stereotyping. Not at all funny.
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geoffpikey
3:50 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Cheer up. Haven't you got some Nazi Gold to weigh?
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Vexed
3:51 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Brexit humour. I'm sure Andrew Lawrence would approve.
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Far Cough
3:52 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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geoffpikey 3:50 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
Cheer up. Haven't you got some Nazi Gold to weigh?
Bwahahahahaha
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gph
3:53 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Rip off of John Cleese, c2015.
Search and replace "Syria" with "virus"
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Nurse Ratched
4:07 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Arf! @ geoffpikey
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Irish Hammer
8:14 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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*Dances Jig
"sure it'll be grand so it will, we still have lots of spuds, so it won't be as bad as the time they all caught the bad potato aids all dem years ago"
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joyo
9:02 Wed Mar 11
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Swiss 3.46.... Ah bless Who's WOKE enforcer is offended yet again... Go get yourself a sense of humour you sad little snowflake
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Ronald_antly
12:00 Thu Mar 12
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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'Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from No worries to She'll be alright, Mate.'
It's "She'll be RIGHT, Mate".
Get it RIGHT!
ALRIGHT?
BTW, given there's already a long running thread for the HysteriaVirus and also a Joke thread, shouldn't a Mod have locked this by now?
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Alfs
2:20 Thu Mar 12
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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Brilliant.
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gph
2:53 Thu Mar 12
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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*waits for great conspiracy theory where hundreds of thousands pretend to get coronavirus and thousands pretend to die*
All figures may be eventually multiplied by factors exceeding 1000
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normannomates
4:16 Thu Mar 12
Re: Covid 19 - the world reacts
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gawd help you people when it really it really hits the fan..
Could you live in the field?
Peckham knows all about fieldcraft..no doubt she'll be along shortly as SOP
Have a good day people
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